(Random cute kids at the park)
Before we moved to Idaho Jacob bought each of the girls a little silver ring and asked them to never forget how special they were. He told them that he loved them and wanted them to remember to love themselves and be strong and believe they were worth being treated with love and respect forever! It was a symbolic gesture and they were all moved by the expression of love, and it renewed their conviction to hold their heads up and remember the meaning Jacob sent with the gift as they go on with their lives.
Fast forward two months. We had a lovely day at a state park on Saturday. It involved water, sun and sand volleyball. For the most part the rings have been shining right where they are supposed to and it's a reminder to us all of a brothers guiding hand. But on Saturday Amanda's ring was cutting into her finger as the sand got behind the ring, so she put it on the table while we played. We continued playing while waiting for some friends who were to meet us at the park. When the friends arrived we gathered around the tables and forgot about the ring as we adjusted items to put a table cloth down. We walked around the table and surely pushed it deeper into the grass about the time Amanda realized it wasn't on her hand! We looked for what seemed like forever but to no avail. We silently prayed and for the rest of the time there we kept going over the area to look. Amanda was heart broken and we came up with a plan for me to return on Monday with our not-so-trusty metal detecter and hunt for it.
First thing Monday morning I started scanning the grass in an area I thought was going to produce the little treasure.......and was pretty instantly annoyed that the thing beeped unmercifully! Picking up stuff all over the place. I wondered if the battery was faulty. I tried to block out metals, change the settings etc. I found some pop rings I then hid to help me detect if it was working... it did register with the proper sound. As I looked at the area, calculated the probability of success, and pondered the importance of my success....I sighed and kept trying. I prayed to overcome my irritation. I called Steve to help me use the device (complain to him). I scoured a big patch of all levels of vegetation.
I ran my fingers through it-back and forth and back and forth. I got to the point that I didn't prissy around the goose poop (which is surprisingly the size of Dobi poop). I was a committed player in this endeavor. I was also loosing hope. After an hour, Steve called me to ask how it was going. I told him I hadn't found anything from the beeps the detector suggested. I felt I was looking for an impossibility, and I was going to give it one last try and then give up. Maybe Amanda needed to learn to be more careful with how she puts things up safely. Maybe she needed to buy a replacement to keep from hurting Jacob's feelings. Maybe she needed to tell him she lost it, and then have a building talk to reinforce the lesson on how we can get "lost" if we aren't careful. All these ideas and more ran through my head. But then- I have a soft spot for how my children learn their prayers are answered, and I knew I had to continue. I was praying for me. Steve was praying for me and I know Amanda was praying for me, perhaps at that very moment. I didn't want to be weak, or quit before the time I should allow. I didn't want her to go from her fragile state of feeling divine inspiration at the age of 11, to giving up on asking for God's help in the future, and I didn't know what Heavenly Father thought was the most important lesson for this situation.
I felt no strong guidance on where to look. I felt....................small. I continued. Sometimes on hands and knees, sometimes just dragging my shoe over the lumps of grass, etc. The area was huge, no small task. Earlier I had told Steve that I knew I could find it, if I was supposed to, but I wasn't feeling any strong sense of direction, and I'd lost my faith in the detector. I was getting to the point of no return when I thought I'd go snap a few photos of the park to show to the family later. I went to get the camera and was going to put the detector in the car, but thought I might try down by the water and sand-and maybe find a big 'ole diamond ring for my troubles, jk.
I enjoyed the beauty for a few minutes, and then started my way back, swinging the detector back and forth as a I walked. Not a single beep for the whole sand stretch. When I got back to the grass it went off every second or so. I then got the idea to go over the edge of the sand court we were playing on, it could have flown that far. From the far side of the court and just into the grass I found another pop ring and was happy to have a victory- a beep and then something to show for it! A first for the day. My hope was restored! At least awakened. At that point time was irrelevant and I started the swinging motion and again approached the table, and heard a beep. I bent down and pulled the grass away.....
And my heart just melted. There laying so quietly, so carefully under the grass was a little silver piece of success and a very obvious answer to many prayers. I quietly shouted for Amanda and her heartfelt requests, and for her new story about the importance of guarding gifts and divine help. I shouted for my restored sense of God always having time for me and my problems. I complicate things. I demand things. I get impatient for things. I get irritated with things. I feel hopeless. I feel the task is too great. I feel I won't go on. But then I feel a pull, a reminder to trust. I feel a hope swell inside me that gives me strength to work. I feel a companionship with others who have surpassed their struggles and went on to the victory. Through small events I feel a combined sense of a heavenly friends and the Savior cheering for me and even reaching out to encourage me to keep at difficult things. I no longer feel small- I feel a surge of the greatness of God's love and His love makes me greater. And I know that I matter and that I have been a part of a miracle! I love miracles. Don't give up. Don't give in to the desire to quit. When we quit whining He can lead us. "Be thou Humble in thy weakness and the Lord thy God shall lead thee, shall lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayers..."
I'm so grateful for the ring and the symbol it has reminded me of. We are precious and we are at times lost, but someone is always looking and working for us to be found and embraced and cherished. We all matter and nothing/no one is so small that it cannot be retrieved.
